puzzle of heart

sometime we are force to do something the heart is not into..mungkin sebab nk jaga hati orang yang meminta..?? or maybe sebab tak tau nak menolak macam mana..??

in 'this' thing, aku memang tak mahir, tak pakar pun, this thing make me feel stupid, slowpoke and im the most useless person on earth..doesn't even fit to be in this field..

but you, whenever u are about to move it, please don't do it alone, drag me in, and show it to me..i know i am at fault for not trying to ask and learn from u..im ego..that's my weakness..

my heart not totally in it, im suck at it, i realize that..i dont have what it takes to be at your level..but im learning from my observation..not to forget, i am slow, but please don't give up on me so quickly..

actually this thing, is the most thing i want to avoid..im scared with it..it's enough to stress me,

its give burden to me..but i don't know why im letting myself involve..

i don't have the reason y, i guess..

or maybe im the type of person who don't know how to say 'no'?

yaahhh...i am..i can't say no..

i never learn how to say 'no' to people who ask me believe me that i can

im sorry for breach the faith u have in me..

i realise that no matter what, it's me to be blame..

i should have my own stand and not to please others

but i believe you don't really hoping for me, right..

you are not begging me after all,

i am adult, i should be brave to speak up for myself

but it's does not matter now, let's us just continue to move

and im giving you my best, and if got anything just tell me straight to my face

don't keep it inside, it's hurt both me and you..

im sorry for being such a useless person, friend, or maybe teammate..

i know my weakness, im trying to push myself harder..

but sometimes, it's break apart, and don't worry, it will be better after it..

though i cant promise u diamond but im putting my gold here..

sabar k..coz i am scared with myself to carry this obligation and responsibilities..

it's too much for me..i am not strong, like u..

and after all, i know it's me to be blame..AM SORRY..